March 2001 Newsletter
Not many people have heard of Bill Havens. But Bill became an unlikely
hero of sorts, at least among those who knew him best.
Here is his story.
At the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, the sport of canoe racing was added
to the list of international competitions. The favorite team in the
four-man canoe race was the United States team. One member of that team
was a young man by the name of Bill Havens. As the time for the Olympics
neared, it became clear that Bill's wife would give birth to their first
child about the time that the US team would be competing in the Paris
games. In 1924 there were no jet airliners from Paris to the United
States, only slow ocean going ships. And so Bill found himself in a
dilemma. Should he go to Paris and risk not being at his wife's side when
their baby was born? Or should he withdraw from the team and remain with
his family? Bill's wife insisted that he go to Paris. After all, competing
in the Olympics was the culmination of a life long dream. But Bill felt
conflicted and, after much soul searching, decided to withdraw from the
competition and remain home, where he could support his wife when the
child arrived. He considered being at her side his highest priority, even
higher than going to Paris to fulfill his dream. As it turned out, the
United States four-man canoe team won the gold medal in Paris. And Bill's
wife was late in giving birth to their child. She was so late, in fact,
that Bill could have competed in the event and returned home in time to be
with her when she gave birth. People said, "What a shame." But
Bill said he had no regrets. For the rest of his life, he believed he had
made the better decision.
Bill Havens knew what was most important to him. Not everybody figures
that out. And he acted on what he believed was best. Not everybody has the
strength of character to say no to something he or she truly wants in
order to say yes to something that truly matters. But for Bill, it was the
only way to peace; the only way to no regrets.
There is an interesting sequel to the story of Bill Havens . . .
The child eventually born to Bill and his wife was a boy, whom they
named Frank. Twenty eight years later, in 1952, Bill received a cablegram
from Frank. It was sent from Helsinki, Finland, where the 1952 Olympics
were being held. The cablegram read: "Dad, I won. I'm bringing home
the gold medal you lost while waiting for me to be born." Frank
Havens had just won the gold medal for the United States in the canoe
racing event, a medal his father had dreamed of winning but never did.
Like I said, no regrets.
Thomas Kinkade eloquently said, "When we learn to say a deep,
passionate yes to the things that really matter, then peace begins to
settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest
floor."
Steve Goodier
What things are important to you? How do we know what we should do and
what we should put off for a different reason? As with Bill we cannot look
into the future, we must live each day not knowing what we should do, as
we do not have a crystal ball that tells right from wrong. A recent
article in Martial Arts Combat Sports magazine stated that "burnout
rates hit 70%" in kids according to Georgia Tech Sports Medicine and
Performance Newsletter - - by age 13. Key issues were reported to be
personality changes, drop in grades, chronic fatigue, illness and faked
illnesses and injuries. Ways to combat the dropout rate are - - let
children play a number of sports, not one throughout the year, let kids
participate at their own rate, balance the amount of time demanded for
practices, games, tournaments and seminars. Often kids participate in
sports for the parent's reasons and because the parent was not able to be
active when he or she was a child . . . and this will be good for the
child.
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